I found these posts rather informative, as I myself have battled bouts of depression, as well as watched friends and family go through it. This is information only. These posts are not intended to diagnose or treat depression, but possibly give more understanding to what can cause it, and how it can be avoided.
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How to Recognize Depression
1. Depression can occur when one allows themselves to be unduly influenced by the negativity around him. Avoid people who project negativity onto you or want to use you. It may sound selfish but if you are going through rough times the thing you need is stability, not someone who wants to squander your resources for their benefit. Life is a two way street.
2. People who have unresolved couple issues are candidates for depression or anxiety. The best thing for them to do is to seek councelling or to talk about their problems so that they can be solved. I know of one case where the hysband is at odds with the wife because she is always inviting her brother over. The family is very close and obviously there is either some jealousy or the husband feels imposed upon. The wife thinks the husband is always hateful towards her family. Clearly they have to straighten out this issue.
3. I noticed that friends who have no clear goals are more likely to get depressed than those that do. One shopuld always be working towards some goal no matter how remote that may be. That is the kind of talk you hear in motivational speeches and the like.
4. If you leave yourself open to constructive criticism that is good but if you mull over criticism as though it is an arm to be used against you that is unhealthy and has to be addressed. Being too sensitive can lead to depression. Clearly one has to come to terms with what is acceptable and what is not when it comes to people who pass judgments and are harmful in their critical approach. So the person has to develop some kind of barrier, or make some positive resolution if he knows that he will be afflicted by counterproductive opinions. Maybe if he just says that everyone is entitled to an opinion, it can be accepted and he can move on.
5. People who lock themselves in time and do not move forward to accept a newer reality are also candidates for depression. This happens especially with the passing away of a loved one or the loss of a friend. Friendship is neither permanent nor was it it made to be but if it continues, it is a wonderful thing. Death occurs as does life does and is constantly around us. It should be viewed more as a means for relief, when there is a severe injury to a person who has no hope to recover, than as an enemy. This would help loved ones avoid getting depressed for long periods.
How to Avoid It.
Avoiding depression means having to decide what you want to do in life. If you are a person who waits for people to act for you, you might also be a person who is waiting for depression to set in. This is how I see it at a multi-talented person who has no time to think about people who do not know how to keep in contact or if they do, it done so in a way that irritates the soul.
If you are a person in constant search for company, that too can also lead you to depression. So many people are dissatisfied with the people they meet because of their instability and those same people might also be looking for Mr. or Miss Right. At that point I would not be judgemental about the person or allow a friendship to grow rather than cut my ties with that person, if I needed that company. But I think a certain amount of judging occurs causing depression especially if the chemistry is not right.
These days the number of my friends are fewer than before or the intensity of friendships has diminished based on a quote I read somewhere about keeping your friends away from you. In fact I have noticed that so-called friends only call when they need something and do little to console the friend in distress. I have noticed this among family members too.
One way to get around this is not to expect anything from anyone except yourself. Continue to excel in what you do. If you obtain satisfaction in those endeavours than hunting out consolation, will fall way behind and you will have less reason to be blue about the company of people that is shallow.
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Smile and have a great hump day!!!!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
How to Recognize Depression
1. Depression can occur when one allows themselves to be unduly influenced by the negativity around him. Avoid people who project negativity onto you or want to use you. It may sound selfish but if you are going through rough times the thing you need is stability, not someone who wants to squander your resources for their benefit. Life is a two way street.
2. People who have unresolved couple issues are candidates for depression or anxiety. The best thing for them to do is to seek councelling or to talk about their problems so that they can be solved. I know of one case where the hysband is at odds with the wife because she is always inviting her brother over. The family is very close and obviously there is either some jealousy or the husband feels imposed upon. The wife thinks the husband is always hateful towards her family. Clearly they have to straighten out this issue.
3. I noticed that friends who have no clear goals are more likely to get depressed than those that do. One shopuld always be working towards some goal no matter how remote that may be. That is the kind of talk you hear in motivational speeches and the like.
4. If you leave yourself open to constructive criticism that is good but if you mull over criticism as though it is an arm to be used against you that is unhealthy and has to be addressed. Being too sensitive can lead to depression. Clearly one has to come to terms with what is acceptable and what is not when it comes to people who pass judgments and are harmful in their critical approach. So the person has to develop some kind of barrier, or make some positive resolution if he knows that he will be afflicted by counterproductive opinions. Maybe if he just says that everyone is entitled to an opinion, it can be accepted and he can move on.
5. People who lock themselves in time and do not move forward to accept a newer reality are also candidates for depression. This happens especially with the passing away of a loved one or the loss of a friend. Friendship is neither permanent nor was it it made to be but if it continues, it is a wonderful thing. Death occurs as does life does and is constantly around us. It should be viewed more as a means for relief, when there is a severe injury to a person who has no hope to recover, than as an enemy. This would help loved ones avoid getting depressed for long periods.
How to Avoid It.
Avoiding depression means having to decide what you want to do in life. If you are a person who waits for people to act for you, you might also be a person who is waiting for depression to set in. This is how I see it at a multi-talented person who has no time to think about people who do not know how to keep in contact or if they do, it done so in a way that irritates the soul.
If you are a person in constant search for company, that too can also lead you to depression. So many people are dissatisfied with the people they meet because of their instability and those same people might also be looking for Mr. or Miss Right. At that point I would not be judgemental about the person or allow a friendship to grow rather than cut my ties with that person, if I needed that company. But I think a certain amount of judging occurs causing depression especially if the chemistry is not right.
These days the number of my friends are fewer than before or the intensity of friendships has diminished based on a quote I read somewhere about keeping your friends away from you. In fact I have noticed that so-called friends only call when they need something and do little to console the friend in distress. I have noticed this among family members too.
One way to get around this is not to expect anything from anyone except yourself. Continue to excel in what you do. If you obtain satisfaction in those endeavours than hunting out consolation, will fall way behind and you will have less reason to be blue about the company of people that is shallow.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Smile and have a great hump day!!!!
Good post Cher. I think we have all been there in terms of some form of depression. It is good that you write about it & let people know they are not alone & there are ways to get past it!
ReplyDeleteWhat about those who cannot?
ReplyDeleteI understand the meaning and the spirit behind your post, but in some cases (mine, for example), it's not as easy as 'keeping negativity away' or not having goals.
I am, as you know, from a situation where there was extreme abuse and/or neglect. How do you try to 'get over it' when you were never given the tools to make inroads into a healthier or happier life? What if the abuse is all you've ever known?
This is why I have a therapist, I suppose, but it's just not that simple to say "there are ways to get past it". There might be.. but for some it's just not that easy, is it.
Peace.
believe me, i know there are situations where it's been identified and treatment and even medication is needed. there are some that cannot work through it themselves, and are clinically depressed, much like my own brother.
ReplyDeletei think the information was geared more so for the person that doesn't recognize it. that are in a funk, slowly shutting themselves off. hopefully for some, if they CAN recognize it, they can try to make changes themselves. if they still cannot bring themselves up, hopefully will seek help, which i'm glad you do, and wish my brother had done. *hugs*