Pushing Through the Pain

Getting back to a slow and steady workout routine is difficult enough as it is sometimes, and when there is pain involved, it can suck even harder!  Some of the exercises involving raising my arms above my shoulders, like jumping jacks, or even side stretches left me gripping my upper right arm in tears.  Two years ago I tore my deltoid by overthrowing during softball practice, and it has never been the same.  After going into ketoacidosis, this deteriorated the muscle even more.  I can't throw a ball any decent distance like I use to.  I can't overhand pitch, hell I can't even shoot a basketball from the freethrow line anymore, and for someone that was a long time tomboy and did well in sports, it sucks... BIG TIME!!

I've been getting in short bursts of moderate exercise at school too by tossing the basketball or football around with my students on breaks, or playing cornhole with the new sets the principal ordered.  Cornhole is easier since it's an underhand toss instead of an overhand throw.  Even at home, getting things from shelves above my shoulders can be okay one minute and the next leave me gripping my arm once again from the intense pain.  But I'm trying to work through it, and eventually, I'm hoping it will improve.  Time and fitness training are the only things that will help it.

Funny thing is, planks are no problem.  See, the way the muscle is, that position doesn't hurt my arm.  Pushups are another story, and again, any stretching above my shoulders.  But I'll get there.  I pushed through the painful moments of my BodBot workouts this week (they only started me off on every other day), and so far, so good.  Some weak moments, and some... "damn I still got it!" moments.

Trying to use my blog as a way of keeping myself accountable again.  While I may still be sitting in the 180's on the scale, I'm trying to create a routine.   I know I will have to increase my intensity and get my heart rate up and get my cardio on, and I'll admit I'm scared.  I envy people that get injured and just want to get back out there with the same gusto and drive as they had before they were.  For me, my fear of getting hurt, or falling down and embarrassing myself has a hold on me right now.  I wish I could say I'm just going to bust out of that blanket of fear and go for it, but it plays mind games with me.  I'm not mentally strong right now, but just like my physical fitness and weight loss goals. I'll get there.  It's a process and achievements in the making.

Have a great weekend!